What Do You Think You Are Saluting? @NRA

As the national death toll from gun violence since the Newtown massacre approaches 500 goes past 520, the semi-adults who desperately don’t want to lose their precious toys that they use to play make-believe are fighting hard to make sure that everything stays just the way it is. The two middle aged twits American citizens pictured above are saluting the Illinois House for pulling an assault weapons ban from consideration this legislative session. Afterward, Decatur resident and enthusiastic pretend soldier-man Nathan Moyar (pictured above) gave an interview in which he states that he is a loser whose frustrations with his tiny and barely functioning penis fill him with rage and fear he is a patriotic American who has sworn on his grandfathers grave that he will defend ‘freedom’.

Apparently, ‘freedom’ means having a ludicrous arsenal that doesn’t make anyone safer, but provides insecure man-children with a prosthetic replacement for their own stunted and ineffective members. For anyone who has actually read the Constitution and is familiar with the history of the founding of this nation it is difficult to comprehend how any reasonable person would equate owning an assault rifle with ‘freedom’, but then, as has been pointed out, we are not debating reasonable people

This is not to say that nobody can be armed and that we must all join hands and sing hymns to the glories of multicultural tantric transgender tofu festivals, although it does seem that is what the other side of the debate is hearing. Dishonest half-baked memes about hammers are not an argument, however, and I have to admit I’m not hearing much else from the other side of the debate at this point.

Let me put it this way; I can think of things to do with a hammer besides murder. In fact, unless I am horribly mistaken, the primary and secondary intended uses of hammers have nothing to do with killing people. On the other hand, assault rifles are really shitty for getting nails to stay in wood, and have only one primary intended use, which is to shoot bullets at high velocity very accurately one after another very quickly. What I would really like to hear, which I am not, is a justification for characterizing such weapons as an ‘essential freedom’.