Can Hobby Lobby Be Saved? @JusticeScalia @HobbyLobby @SCOTUS @corporateensoulment @thetheologicalimplicationsarestaggering

I mean, that really is the question. Since the conservative majority of the Supreme Court has determined in a spasm of outrageous judicial activism that the Christian beliefs and conscience of the Hobby Lobby corporation allows it to ignore laws that offend it, they have elevated the noxious notion of Corporate Personhood to an entirely new level by asserting that corporations have consciences and therefore souls. For what is a conscience but the agent of the soul? The choices of the conscience are what determine the fate of the soul, therefore if a thing has a conscience that holds Christian beliefs and takes action in the world that affects people’s lives how can it not have a soul? Justice Scalia is not shy about his Catholic faith (though he doesn’t like to talk about Agnus Dei) and therefore must have considered this in considering his legal opinion; it’s not like he would just rule in favor of a right wing corporate interest in some sort of unthinking knee-jerk reaction, right?

Since Justice Scalia has made corporate ensoulment the law of the land, I have several theological questions I wish to pose to Justice Scalia and his apologists.

Last Jubilee I walked through the Porta Sancta, I confess, do penance, and strive not to sin; should I be lucky enough to die in a state of Grace and have my soul enter Heaven, is there a chance that Hobby Lobby will be there?
If so, would Hobby Lobby look like a person or a building? Or would it be incarnated as all of the Hobby Lobby stores and corporate offices with a set of wings and a halo? If it’s a person, is it male or female?
Can Hobby Lobby attain Sainthood? It’s not that silly a question. How different is Hobby Lobby from any of the saints who converted entire nations? Hobby Lobby is sure to convert many of their brethren once they see the benefits a conscience can bring.
Also, this means Halliburton and those guys are going to Hell, right?

 

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