Listen To This Samuel Wurzelbacher #Joe the Plumber #bully #NRA #2nd Amendment #OpenCarryTexas #YesAllWomen

To Samuel Wurzelbacher (aka Joe the Plumber);

I read your open letter to the parents of the people senselessly murdered by Elliot Rodgers; I read every last condescending, insincere, and compassion-free word. On the one hand, I regard you as a grifter who needs people to pay attention to you so that you can continue to swindle conservatives by spewing what clogs toilets into our collective consciousness rather than to actually rod one out; on the other, you are a fellow American citizen who has publicly expressed an opinion in the form of a letter to the parents of murder victims telling them to shut up.

To begin with, this is what I was writing before I read your letter:

“A gun is a tool; as such, it is inherently neutral, nothing more than a lump of metal until it is in a persons hand. It is a tool capable of extinguishing human life as easily as a candle; it is not the only tool which can do this but it is expressly made to do so.”

You might recognize that idea as one that the NRA puts forward. I like to try and find places where I agree with people who I have disagreements that seem intractable; when we find common ground then we can start to work towards solutions together.

I don’t want to have any ground in common with you right now.

It used to be that when American citizens were slaughtered by a maniac with a gun the NRA and their mouthpieces would have the decency to be quiet and let people grieve for a few days. That’s changed. You’re not the first to do it. Your friends and fellow travelers include the Sandy Hook ‘Truthers’ who spend their free time tormenting the parents of murdered toddlers as well as every one of these charmers. You are trying to impose a new normal on us that I will not accept. Your folk have been moving the goalposts for far too long and there is no point in trying to compromise with someone who wants to live in a society where people carry assault rifles to restaurants and can buy silencers and armor piercing rounds in the name of law and order.

Here’s where I stand right now, Not Joe the Not Plumber. I think we should take away your guns. I think we should kick down your door and take your guns from you because the Constitution of the United States as read by an adult human being who is free of brain damage does not say that you just get to have whatever the hell gun you want under any circumstances. I quote:

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Now I’ve always read that ‘well regulated Militia’ meant that since the citizenry also served as the army and police force through local militias, that meant that militia members would get to have weapons. Of course, conservative judicial activists have recently re-interpreted the reading the law to claim that above sentence means that individuals have a right to own guns. I do acknowledge that as long as that Supreme Court ruling stands then this is how the law of the land is read; when I am saying we should kick down your door and take your guns we should do it because it would be the legal thing to do. After all, the ‘judicial philosophy’ of the justices is one of ‘original intent’, where apparently like some new age shaman they channel the intentions of the Founding Fathers to tell them what they really meant. Thankfully, in the case of the Second Amendment this is actually a very easy thing to discern and I find it surprising that when the Supremes were communing with James Madison and the Gang, not one of them mentioned that the Second Amendment only applies to muskets.

Surely even John Adams and Thomas Jefferson would have agreed that it is insane for an individual to possess the power of an entire militia in their hand; after all, that would make it easy for a madman to mass murder their fellow citizens. What greater infringement of liberty or pursuit of happiness is there than to have your life stolen for no reason whatsoever? A man with a handgun can empty it in seconds. A man with a musket takes a minute to reload and is only a danger as part of an organized force against a common enemy; he has no hope of committing mass murder. So, Samuel Joseph Not the Plumber Wurzelbacher, I am done trying to find a rational point of compromise we can agree upon and instead have moved my goalposts to the only moral and rational position I can take; you can have a musket just as the Founding Fathers intended.


Winston Delgado

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