Thunderdome Now @NRA @Wayne LaPierre #stand&deliver

It’s worth linking to the Daily Caller in this instance because you must read Wayne LaPierre’s ‘Stand and Deliver’ essay in its full insane glory. His breathless lines are like a love letter written by a seventh grader, except it’s about how the only solution to all the problems is guns, Guns, GUNS!!! Because we live in Thunderdome now, apparently.

Some notes for Mr LaPierre:
The best way to not sound paranoid and creepy to others is to try not being paranoid and creepy before you talk. Also, it helps when building an argument to not make yourself look like you have no idea what you are talking about; it undermines the sense of credibility that long ago crumbled to dust about you. For example, if you are going to rave in a public forum about all the crime in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, you should probably check out what actually happened first. Otherwise you might come off as an unwashed hobo who is screaming about invisible bats, which may not be the impression you are seeking to make. Also, as Clint Eastwood demonstrated by losing an argument with an empty chair, while making a strawman to argue with doesn’t strengthen your position, if the strawman manages to beat you, perhaps you need to reconsider your position entirely.

Worrying about the government confiscating your guns is like worrying about getting arrested for taking the tag off your mattress; it requires a combination of willful ignorance, narcissistic sensitivity and persecution fantasy that deserves to be slapped out of you. How is it possible to be a strutting parody of masculinity and a whiny little bitch? Be like Ted Nugent.  How is it possible to think Obama is an ineffective moron who fails at all things and is also a Terrifying Secret Muslim Radical Christian Socialist Atheist Third World White-Hating Anti-Semitic Kenyan Indonesian Evil Genius who somehow got elected President of the United States twice because obviously most Americans hate America and want to see it destroyed?  I don’t know, but they keep trying to explain it to me.


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