We haven’t spoken in a bit. I have a post election post that I never finished but that seemed an odd way to break the silence, and besides, politics has moved on and talk of six weeks ago seems as retro as parachute pants and lava lamps. My life continues to trace wide ellipses around itself as I corkscrew through four dimensional space, barely glimpsing the shape of myself against the ever shifting reality around me. I have encountered so many extraordinary souls and am always delighted to find them in tandem orbits with me as I move through my peculiar adventures.
I continue to be astonished by and enamored with humanity; there is no natural phenomenon or cosmic event as fascinating or miraculous as a human being. My work at the Clown Factory deals almost exclusively in humans and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The people who work with the machines and sell our products make far more than I but I wouldn’t consider wasting a moment of my life doing anything else. As much as I love painting and writing these are essentially solitary activities that do not suit me for a career.
That being said, at this snapshot moment I must say that I actually feel quite fulfilled with what I am achieving with my painting and writing; I feel confident in my technical ability to express myself. This is no small thing as I have struggled to achieve this level of competence for a very long time. What people misunderstand about talent is that it is the love of doing a thing that makes you work at it to the exclusion of so much else that eventually a specialized proficiency develops and your practice seems easy to the novice; it is not an ability to simply do difficult things with little effort.
My practice is not perfect and my Zen is unrecognizable to any Buddhist as my Jesus is incomprehensible to most Christians; my lack of a method, guru or teacher leaves me without a path yet somehow I still stumble into groves and gardens of stunning beauty and grace. I fall humbled before the uncreated creation of the universe, left in a wondering awe by contemplations of the nothing of Eternity and am dazzled by the contradictions of fate and chance. My life spills over with joy and love and for that in this peculiar calendrical moment I am thankful to eternity and fate and chance.
My unlimited love,