The Jerk Off

The premise is simple: which of the following newsmakers is most horrible and for what reason?
Who will win the Jerk Off? You decide.

Thanks to a lifetime of gaudy egotism, ruthless exploitation, and general sleazy shamelessness, This Guy is an easy favorite; it would be easy to dismiss him as a mere clown shooting off his mouth until you remember the lives he destroyed amassing his wealth. His newest stunt is just garnish on the shit platter that is his career.

But then you’ve got This Guy, and again, you have to consider his staggering lifetime achievements which likely includes being involved with assassinating Malcolm X. Still, compared to his body of work, his latest cry for attention is just a weak gesture.

Why don’t we switch it up with a weak gesture was so horrible that it may be NSF for some of you to even read about This Guy. (some of the words in the article may set off filters.) That he is 29 years old and defacing tribute web pages of dead children is very unsettling and indicates to me that there is something more dangerous lurking behind that smirk than a mere jerk, but ‘The Jerk-Off’ was a funnier name for this contest than ‘Evaluate the Severity of the Sociopath’.

After that, you’re probably wondering why I’m continuing. Well, how about These Guys? Now, I know at first it may be difficult to draw an equivalency, but hear me out. These petty bastards are not only trying to deny a child with a peanut allergy her right to go to school, but they are teaching their children that it is better to ostracize someone who is different rather than to make small accommodations such as washing their hands and rinsing their mouths after eating. That’s special.

How about This Guy? I know the article is about the GOP trying to get a recording of That Guy pulled from teh Internets, which is worthy of note in itself. But it’s the ‘Let Them Eat Cake!’ quality of what he’s saying that is worth recognizing. And while we’re on the subject of Republicans and the Unions, This Guy didn’t help himself with his helpful suggestions.

I used to think Dilbert was funny but This Guy just killed the joke for me. I had read some of his essays and books and found them strangely immature, but his latest screed proves he should stick to three panel doodlejokes.

Compare what this This Guy said and did with the NPR fundraiser said and did. Then get back to me about liberal bias.

This Guy has enough of a fevered ego to demand a global audience for his provincial provocations and childish histrionics  but not enough of a spine to acknowledge that his actions have consequences. His words and deeds have birthed violence; what else is there to say about his ‘ministry’?

Place your vote in the comments.

6 Responses to “The Jerk Off”

  1. As you would probably expect, my vote is for Terry Jones. The others are just jerks. He is a jerk who claims that he is doing the work of God. He also may have the largest amount of blood on his hands. I think he is up to at least 20 this time around…

  2. All of them are tainting our collective unconsciousness and making us pay a higher psychic price than we could possibly imagine; there’s at least one potential murderer on that list and the rest are all certainly contributing to human misery, but your point is taken. It’s kind of why I saved him for last.

  3. Winston,
    Before I begin my rant, a request, please? When you put links in your posts, could you check the box for the link to open on a new page? Then I can keep something open that I’m commenting on (my memory, alas).

    Moving along, on the first three: Trump is an arrogant ass with bad hair. I have never liked him, never admired him, never even wanted to see him. His voice grates on me, and I think that he is a first-class asshole, which would make him a good politician, except that he could never get past himself.

    Farrakhan . . . sociopath. Nothing to do with race. He is a racist who spits vitriole and has no desire to have peace between nations, races, religions, etc.

    Guy number three: Troll, pure and simple. He needs to be locked up so that he can experience the joys of being violated against his will.

  4. Terry Jones wines hands down, no question. He’s dangerous. I cannot abide people who hide behind religion to spout violence and hatred.

    Scott Adams and his “path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles” comment? Will never read Dilbert again. What a dick. Not satire. Not funny. Shows him for what he really is.

    The politician crying about his $174k salary? Wisconsin? Let’s hire some of those rich teachers, we can get three based on their presumptions of $60k salaries (okay 2 2/3). He can go.

    Wah, wah, wah. Cry me a fricking river.

  5. There is one idol still more dangerous than all the rest; that is, religion’.
    – John Wesley

  6. I’m sorry about the links! I usually do that. Like I said, I’m out of the habit of blogging.

    Kenny, you made my day with that quote.

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