Vertigo Dreams

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!“-Les Nessman, WKRP

Yeah, racism has vanished. Right.

Dahlia-I’ll finish my long newsy email as soon as I can

Last night I ended up out West at Sam’s place for an hour or so. We had an excellent conversation. He’s seeing a new specialist and feeling much better; he’s even returned to work. I agreed with him that nominating Clinton to the Supreme Court might even be a sharper move than making her SoS. He looks and sounds great. The entire time we talked I never even thought about having a cigarette. The patch is an amazing thing.

But the dreams… my God, the dreams. I’ve even been taking the patch off before I go to sleep and I still am finding myself in Oz when I close my eyes. Last night I found myself on one of the top floors of a skyscraper. Even though Wulf and Susan live in a lovely North suburban home, in the geography of my dream this aerie was their new home. It is impossible to convey how solid and colorful everything was; even now in the bright afternoon I can remember the building and condo in great detail. For that matter I remember it all like I had been there, like it had actually happened to me.

Of course, there’s nothing more boring than listening to someone else’s dreams. I can promise you that there’s nothing here of great import, no message from Morpheus to be discerned in the symbols or tremendous insight into my soul to be gleaned from the images. I don’t even know why I’m writing about it other than it is in my mind and I would like to make room for other things.

It was a housewarming party and everyone was quite elegant. We looked out over the vast cityscape from a great height through floor to ceiling windows. Occasionally with cinematic perception I could see the building from the outside, crisscrossed black steel and glass cutting a rectangle out of the blue sky. with the gaussian blurred city below. Suddenly there was a tremendous storm on the horizon swirling towards us. It’s darkness filled the sky behind the windows and tremendous anxiety passed through the party. This is when I began to be filled with a concern for the baby that became the consistent theme for the rest of the dream.

A tornado spun right through the building; in my dream narrative I saw it pass through several different ways and the architecture of the tower changed every time. By the time I had determined that it was over the skyscraper was now made of brick and resembled a townhouse that Dahlia had sent me a picture of except for the fact that it was easily a hundred stories high. The top six or so floors tilted at a precarious angle over emptiness. Inside we were on the top floor where I could feel the pull of gravity shift as the damaged precipice shifted on its perch.

Looking out the windows to the ground below made my stomach drop. Furniture slid, grinding across the floor. I distinctly remember leaning against Lily’s baby grand piano to keep it from going through the window. The assembled group was on the verge of panic until Wulf remembered the helicopters on top of the building. Every step we took caused the entire building to tremble. We packed into the ‘copters like the evacuees of the Saigon embassy and as we lifted away the entire structure collapsed into a cloud of dust with a roar that shook the air. I was seized with a terror that we had left Susan and the baby behind but when I looked around they were sitting next to me. Then I saw us all from the outside as the helicopters flew into a cloud bank and REM faded to static black.

I’m having two or three of these a night.

12 Responses to “Vertigo Dreams”

  1. Sounds similar in quality to the dreams I had when I was in my ARDS induced come. Everything was brilliantly clear and seemed totally reasonable, yet terrifying. Even remembering them now, I can recount details. You’ll note, I never remember my dreams, but these stand out.

    It would be interesting to see an EEG of patch induced dreams compared to ARDS induced ones. I wonder why they are so similar?

  2. That would be very interesting. I would guess that it has something to do with an area of the brain either being active or inactive that would be doing the opposite in a normally functioning brain. Gotta run.

  3. Hey kids,

    I remember my patch dreams: in one, I’ve got a guy tied up in the garage preparing to torture him while Aurora asks the questions. There’s something we need to know badly, and I don’t want to beat it out of him, but I know I have to. (It ended before I landed the first blow with the pipe.)

    In another, one of my students has cut off someone’s head and given it to me in a hatbox as a gift, and I’m freaked out, only I’ve misplaced the box and we’re expecting company, and I don’t want them to find it because then they’ll think I’m a murderer.

    But my very favorite: Aurora and I are on some sort of romantic retreat at a faraway hotel, in the hot tub together, when the hotel is invaded by…Imperial stormtroopers. They start shooting up the place and people are fleeing, only there’s no way out for us, so clad only in towels, we grab lamposts and start fighting them. I awoke to her kissing me goodbye before she went to work in the morning, and my parting words to her were, “Don’t forget to kick some ass on your way out.”

    I don’t think they mean anything. But damn.

  4. oh! i almost wish i still smoked, so i could give up again! (although patches didn’t work for me and although i seldom remember any dreams – i can ‘t recall if i had any when i tried the patch.)

  5. Damn! This beats quitting cold turkey, LOL!

  6. The dreams leveled out over the weekend but they are still fairly memorable. Like the Prof’s, they still have narratives and remain memorable, however. It’s deeply weird. Last night I remembered I was Superman and flew around and was invulnerable and stuff. It was cool.
    It’s been six days without a smoke!

  7. Congrats….. They didnt have “patches” when I quit a while ago, but the dreams suddenly became vivid and they have yet to stop some 17 years later…… and my,my let me tell you, you think they are wacky now….. just wait, the VERY best is yet to come! Quitting smoking is the hardest thing you will EVER do.. trust me.. I have done some pretty difficult things and for Dahlia, I have some new and better things that are so much more fun than “quitting smoking” should she be interested in the high of it all… ha!

  8. I am 10 days and doing great! Thank you!
    I have no idea what else you might be alluding to…

  9. That was for Dahlia dear, not you….. ha ha ;-0

  10. I am socially awkward, I suppose. Do carry on…

  11. Quinn Dragosen Says:

    Sounds a lot like the movie cloverfield to me, are you sure you weren’t watching it or it was on in the background somewhere before you went to sleep?

  12. Quinn-
    What is absolutely crazy is that I just watched it last night at about the same time you posted this. I could see where people would have dreams about it. It was a really cool movie.

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