Forsee this, Gerald Celente

Gerald Celente is shouting scary things through a megaphone provided by people who want you and the rest of us scared of the black man running the country.
Here’s what the Great Seer predicted for the year 2000:
Voluntary simplicity, once merely a counterculture ideal, will finally become a reality in the twenty-first century. ….Moderation, self-discipline, and spiritual growth will be the personal goals of the future, not material accumulation.
What an accurate portrayal of the early 21st Century American, who probably was practicing moderation, self-discipline and spiritual growth at some point in between swilling down a 5$ latte while driving their SUV and yapping about nothing on their cell phone on their way to the mall. Here’s another gem from Gerry:
The trend to convert lawns into gardens will have a significant impact not only on the way we eat but also on how we live and feel. ….Billions of dollars formerly spent on lawn care will either be saved or re-deployed into producing fresh food.
It’s like he was living here with us in the future! I remember back in 2001 when I replaced my lawn with a turnip patch-my neighbors thought I was insane! But who’s laughing now?
Here’s a really fine piece of wishful thinking:
Instead of being banished to nursing homes or retirement communities, large numbers of retirees… will move in with their adult children.
Hmmmm… it’s begining to occur to me that just perhaps Gerry C is not so much ‘predicting trends’ as ‘making sh!t up’. Of course, they’re very similar things so I could see how he got confused.This next one is super-awesome:
The videophone, meanwhile, will keep us in touch with faraway relatives. …long-distance communication will be more like television. 
Isn’t this a great videophone conversation? Oh, wait. It’s not. We’re using teh Internets, something Mr. Visionary utterly failed to anticipate despite the technology and infrastructure for it being in place at the time he made that particular ‘trend forecast’.
I quit smoking this morning and it feels good to let rip on an @$$ of this proportion.
Regarding his self-hyping claims of ‘accuracy’, all I can say is that all these con artists make these sorts of claims. If I make a thousand predictions about the coming year and one of them comes true, it’s easy to paint myself as a visionary as long as I don’t mention the wrong ones, or the big things I missed entirely. Or think of it this way; a few months ago I mentioned that after the GOP convention of 2000, I wrote (or ‘trend forecasted’, if you like) that ‘if you elect Bush, things are gonna suck. Your precious economy is gonna freeze up, foreign policy will be a disgrace, and our rights will be attacked.’ I think it’s safe to say I was right on all counts, but it was fairly obvious at the time as far as I was concerned. I am aware of all internet traditions and generally know what’s up, but if you would have told me eight years ago that Bush and the GOP were going to ineptly misgovern so tragically that a black Democrat from Chicago with the middle name ‘Hussein’ would win the Presidency, I would have thought you were drunk. The truth is that the future is up for grabs all the time; it is always shifting according to the choices we make in the now. Maybe if we had continued following the trends of the past eight years Celente’s forecast of 2012 might have come to pass, but we didn’t, and Obama doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who is going to put unqualified people in charge of FEMA. We are facing the same challenges and risks we always have; it’s still possible that very bad things might happen but at least the person leading the way is going to be very attentive to the path.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: