Right Wing Christians Are the Most Charming and Delightful People In The Whole Wide World.

Christian Right Activists Make A Hindu Feel Welcome In Their Own Special Way.

You know, whether it’s a brief ride in an elevator or a transcontinental plane flight in coach, I’m always delighted to discover when I’m snuggled up to one of God’s Own Elect, The Conservative Christian. They’re so warm and you can just feel the love pouring off of these people. Their manners are always impeccable and you know that they’re sure to make everyone feel welcome in any social situation. In conversation, they have no peer. Whether they’re talking about how George Bush is doing God’s work, their certain ascension in the Rapture or how Darwin is responsible for teen pregnancy, you can be sure that any Conservative Christian you speak to is the master of all subjects philosophical, scientific, and metaphysical and rest assured that any misunderstandings you may have are the result of your own ignorance, spiritual poverty, and intellectual limitations. You see, Conservative Christians have a subtler understanding of the Mind of God than the rest of us. This allows them to behave with a certainty that would be considered adolescently obnoxious in other people. But other people do not bask in the Reflected Glory of God as they do. It is a wonder that more people do not become Conservative Christians themselves as they make being wrapped in a shroud of unassailable belief look like so much fun. Also, they have excellent fashion sense, to say nothing of their sophisticated taste in literature. All in all, I think everyone can agree that Right Wing Conservative Christians are just the bestest, smartest people ever and God loves them the most. And if you don’t, may you burn in Hell for eternity.   

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