My Dinner With Daphne Merkin (a brief play)

Miss Mayweather in a memo to the residents of Port Awesome: I think I might have found Winston’s soulmate. And her name is Daphne Merkin.

My response:
Heh. The dinner conversation would be stellar:

MY DINNER WITH DAPHNE MERKIN
(a short play in one act)
Me: Well, this is a nice restaurant.
DM: Don’t be condescending.
Me: I’m thinking about the lobster, what looks good to you?
DM: How predictably patriarchal of you. Just because you have a phallus you think you can demand to know what I’m thinking. I will not be oppressed!
Me: Did you know your name means ‘pubic wig’?
DM leaps across the table and decapitates me with a butter knife; she then holds my head aloft and begins singing ‘I am Woman’ over the blood sprinkler of my torso. Curtain.